L is for Lioness — Ashley Nickels

In what can only be explained as a “crafting coincidence”, the movie Julie & Julia was on this morning as I was taking a crack at Martha Stewart’s sugar cookie and royal icing recipe. My daydreaming mind wandered, and before I knew it, I was imagining Meryl Streep playing Martha in the next “amateur blogger meets her womanly role model” genre Hollywood blockbuster. Yikes!
Unlike Julie and her cooking idol, I have never really thought much of Martha and her perfection. Something about her monotone voice maybe. Or maybe I am just intimidated by her? Whatever the case is, a few weeks ago I looked through Claire’s copy of Martha's Encyclopedia of Crafts, and began to have a change of heart. It all looks so pretty! Plus, her recipe was pretty much your run-of-the-mill sugar cookie recipe (with the exception that I didn’t have brandy for the cookies or meringue powder (?) for the icing, so I had to substitute milk and egg whites, respectively.) Any idiot can do it, right?
The lion cookie cutter is clearly a tribute to the crafting lioness herself, Martha. Unlike her lazier male counterpart, the lioness is motivated, cunning and deadly. She is a hunter. She sees what she wants, she examines it, she attacks, she gets what she wants. Her tenacious spirit and perseverance will never let silly obstacles (like “jail time”) stand in her way. I was reluctant to admit it before, but she is truly a force to be reckoned with. She is the queen of her crafting kingdom!
One would think that Martha’s karma would have been with me today, since I was dedicating my craft to her and all. Well, it wasn’t. As you can see below, our lion cookies would be more likely to be found in a 2nd grade bake-sale than in Martha Stewart Living. It was that pesky meringue powder, wasn’t it? That was a cruel, lioness-like move, Martha... If it’s going to end up soupy with egg whites, why tell me it’s an acceptable substitute? Huh?
Oh, well. In the end, they tasted good, but I'm still slightly scared of her.